


Shinji Ikari buys a dress

by Grannyhotline



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Trans, Canon-Typical Violence, Homophobia, Multi, Slice of Life, Tags Subject to Change, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Female Ikari Shinji, Transitioning, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29481453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grannyhotline/pseuds/Grannyhotline
Summary: Shinji comes to realize that she is a trans girl and begins a messy transition which causes her friends and comrades to question their own identities. All the while the complex scene in Tokyo-lll becomes even more complex with rising tensions between anti-censorship groups and the government.
Relationships: Aida Kensuke/Suzuhara Touji, Akagi Ritsuko/Katsuragi Misato, Ikari Shinji & Katsuragi Misato & Souryuu Asuka Langley, Ikari Shinji & Souryuu Asuka Langley, Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu, Kaji Ryouji/Katsuragi Misato
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	1. Little Shinji in Big Tokyo

**Author's Note:**

> I read both Shinji Ikari and the Methods of Bioterrorism by noetherSA and The human abstract by AMX004_Qubeley so please go read those because they are much better than this one.

We get an establishing shot of Misato's apartment complex and watch as her beat-up blue car pulls into a parking space.

Misato, Shinji, and Asuka pile out of the car carrying grocery bags.

Shinji holds his bags less than gracefully and has them in front of his eyes blocking his vision.

Asuka:

You’re holding too many, you’re gonna drop them all over the floor.

Shinji:

Eh? No, it’s fine.

Asuka:

Well, don’t blame me when you drop them idiot Shinji.

Misato:

Stop fighting you two.

She opened the door and held it open for Asuka and Shinji.

The two of them set the groceries down on the counter, Shinji starts unloading them while Asuka attempts a hasty retreat to her bedroom.

Misato grabs her by the ear preventing this.

Misato:

And just where do you think you’re going?

Asuka:

To my room of course, what’s it to ya?

Misato:

Don’t tell me you were gonna leave Shinji to do all the work.

Asuka:

He would have done it all without asking for help anyways. 

Misato:

And that’s exactly why you’re gonna help him.

Asuka:

Ahh, this is horrible, downright inhumane, and evil.

Misato:

Yeah yeah just go help him.

Misato watches as Asuka grumbles to herself and begrudgingly helps Shinji with the groceries.

Misato shoots Shinji a look of concern that he never sees as he’s too busy looking down.

Misato:

Ok well, I'll be in my room if you need me.

Asuka:

We won’t.

Ignoring her Misato heads into her room and plops down on her desk.

She reaches over and takes a sip of a lukewarm can of beer she left out.

Suddenly her phone starts ringing and she picks it up.

Misato:

Hello?

Ritsuko:

Hello Misato, there was a change in schedule.

The sync test that was supposed to be tomorrow has been moved to Friday.

Misato:

Oh well that cool, one less thing I have to worry about tomorrow.

Ritsuko:

Agreed, anyway I’m pretty busy right now so I’ll let you go.

Misato:

Already? Argh, all we ever talk about anymore is work.

I wish you weren’t so busy.

Ritsuko:

There are no breaks when the city is being attacked by angels every other week.

Besides you’re pretty busy yourself.

How's the second child adjusting to the Katsuragi household?

Misato:

She’s doing… alright.

She’s real loud all the time and has some sort of obsession with picking on Shinji.

I think she might be getting to him because he’s starting to look depressed.

Ritsuko:

Shinji always looks depressed.

Misato:

Ok but like advanced depression

Depression a 14-year-old shouldn’t be able to have.

Ritsuko:

Peoples' early teenage years can be particularly channeling for some people. 

Combined with the trauma that comes with piloting the Evas who knows if he’ll be able to become a functional adult.

Misato:

So pessimistic! I’m sure he just needs a push in the right direction.

Anyway, I’ll let you get back to your work.

Love you.

Ritsuko:

Goodbye.

Misato hears a click and she puts down the phone.

She sighs to herself before getting up and walking over to Shinji's room.

On the door was a heart-shaped whiteboard that Misato had written his name on and hung up.

She knocked first.

Misato:

Shinji, I’m coming in.

And then slowly opened the door.

Shinji was sitting on his bed with his walkman in hand. When he saw Misato he took out one of his earbuds.

Shinji:

What is it Miss Misato?

Misato:

Nothing, just checking up on you. 

So uh what are you listening to?

Shinji:

Uhh

(He pops the cassette out of his walkman)

Bach cello suite No.1 in G Major.

Misato:

Oh wow! I didn’t know you were a classical music fan.

Shinji:

I mean I’m not really a fan.

My teacher gave it to me at the same time he started teaching me cello lessons.

Misato:

Well, what’s your favorite song that you have?

Shinji:

I don’t know.

The two of them stand in silence for a moment.

Misato's eyes bounce around the room, examining the bareness of the walls and the lack of any real personal belongings.

Misato was starting to wonder if Shinji had ever bought himself anything.

That was when she got an idea.

She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a 1000 yen bill.

Misato:

Here, take this and go out and buy yourself something.

Shinji:

What? Why?

Misato:

Because I want you to get something you like.

Come on.

She walks over to him and gently pulled him off the bed.

Before he realizes it, Shinji has been dragged to the front door with the 1000 yen bill thrust in his hand.

Misato:

Buy yourself something pretty!

And with a gentle push, Shinji was shoved out the door.

________________________

Shinji walked around aimlessly downtown, not entirely sure where he was going.

He had no idea what he wanted.

He had no idea if he even wanted anything to begin with.

He wanted to assume Misato had the best intentions with this but it honestly felt like she just wanted him out of the house.

Tokyo-lll was mostly a quiet city, unlike other places like it, there was a distinct lack of people.

The only thing keeping people here was probably the low rent landlords employed in order to keep people from leaving.

Shinji looked over at an empty lot where a building used to be.

It had been destroyed in an angel attack, Shinji tried to remember what Nerv had named the angel.

Shinji:

Shamel? Shammy? Sandwich?

Whatever he didn’t need to know its name. I mean it was dead and even if it wasn’t Shinji wasn't gonna strike up a conversation with it.

He continued his awkward stroll and turned around the block when something caught his eye.

It was a small thrift shop that seemed out of place as it was sandwiched between two much larger buildings.

A neon light that read “open” was hung up in the display window.

Shinji:

I’ll probably be able to get something cheap in here.

And with that Shinji headed inside.

The store had a weird smell to it and seemed to be lit up only with cheap Christmas lights. 

The store sold mostly clothes but towards the back wall were bins with seemingly random things inside.

Shinji took a few moments shifting through the contents of the bins.

It was mostly broken action figures or board games, nothing he was interested in.

Shinji:

Ugh, I’ll just take one of the action figures and go.

He picked up one of the action figures and was heading for the register when he saw it.

It was a summer dress similar to the one Asuka wore when he first met her.

However, instead of a light yellow, it was a light lime and purple which somewhat reminded him of Unit 01.

He picked up the dress as if to examine it when he heard someone start talking to him.

Store clerk:

The fitting rooms are in the back if you want to try it on.

Shinji spun around with fully red cheeks.

Shinji:

Uh no, thank you! I was just looking!

Store clerk:

Aw, that’s a shame. It looks like it’s your style.

She walked over to the register leaving Shinji alone in the back of the store holding the dress.

He looked down at the dress and thought about what the store clerk had said.

Shinji:

I mean… she’s acting like it’s ok.

Shinji looked around and found the fitting rooms and went inside, locking the door behind him.

He removed his school uniform and set it down on a stool in the fitting room.

He then held the dress up in front of him and paused. 

Shinji:

Wait am I supposed to step into this or put it over my head?

He decided that putting it over his head would be easiest. 

He closed his eyes and after a couple of moments of struggling, he managed to get the dress on properly.

He then opened his eyes and looked in the mirror.

Shinji:

Whoa...


	2. Robots and Transgenderism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji hides his new favorite thing away from the public eye. Afterward, he scores highly on the sync test, deals with praise and criticism, and learns a new word.

**Chapter 2: Robots and Transgenderism**

Shinji got back to the apartment around dusk.

He was carrying an opaque bag he got from the thrift store over his shoulder.

He gently opened the door and made his way inside.

Misato and Asuka were sitting at the table eating beef-flavored ramen.

Asuka:

Where have you been Shinji!? 

Thanks to you being gone so long Misato had to make dinner and of course she messed it up!

How do you even mess up ramen?

Shinji:

Sorry.

Asuka:

Hm! 

I don’t believe you’re sorry at all!

Misato:

Oh, be nice to him Asuka.

Anyway Shinji, what did you end up getting?

Shinji:

Oh uh.

(He reached into the bag)

This.

Shinji pulled out a cheap-looking robot action figure.

Asuka:

That’s what you bought?

Who am I kidding of course you bought something like that.

Shinji:

Like what?

Asuka:

What are you stupid?

That's a dumb little kid's toy that bad mothers buy for their three-year-old.

Shinji:

But it has small plastic parts that a three-year-old could choke on.

Asuka:

Yeah, that’s why I said bad mothers and not good mothers.

She shoots Misato an accusatory glare.

Misato:

Oh, be nice Asuka.

Shinji if you’re hungry I left another cup of ramen in the microwave for you.

Shinji:

Ok, I’ll go get it in a second.

He put the action figure back in his bag and made his way to his bedroom.

He slid the door shut and dumped the contents of his bag onto his bed.

The dress seemed to fall down gracefully like a feather while the action figure fell like a rock.

Shinji:

Ok, they bought the decoy but where am I gonna put the dress?

He held it up and looked around his room.

The closet didn’t feel like a good choice as the only thing protecting the dress from public view was a thin sliding door.

He briefly considered stuffing it in the bottom of his school bag but decided he didn’t want to risk it popping out in the middle of class.

The only other place he could think to hide it was under his mattress.

He looked around quickly like he was committing a crime and then proceeded to stuff the dress under his mattress.

Shinji:

That should be good.

Even if Asuka goes looking through my things I doubt she’ll look under there.

Satisfied with his work he headed back into the kitchen to grab his cup of ramen.

________________________

On Friday Shinji found himself back in Eva-01. 

He hadn’t grown comfortable with being inside it but it had definitely become less stressful.

It felt familiar yet foreign at the same time.

A voice called out to him breaking his concentration.

Misato:

Shinji, do you read me?

Shinji:

Miss Misato. How’d I do on the test?

Misato:

Congratulations, you are number one!

She gave him an energetic thumbs up.

In return, Shinji gives her a big open-mouth smile.

________________________

Rei and Asuka stand at opposite ends of the women's changing rooms.

Asuka:

It’s pretty annoying how he scored so high without even trying isn’t it?

I guess we’ll both have to work extra hard to keep up with the incredible, strong, macho man Shinji.

Actually don’t bother putting in the extra work wondergirl.

It’s not like you’re built to score anything higher than dead last.

Wondergirl a.k.a Rei ignored her and finished changing.

She grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

Rei:

Farewell.

The door made its usual hissing noise as it closed behind her.

The hissing was then followed by the usual Asuka punching the shit out of the wall noise.

________________________

  
  


On the way home from Nerv H.Q. Shinji, Asuka, and Misato drove past a large gathering of people.

Many of them were holding up signs and chanting things Shinji and Asuka couldn’t make out.

Asuka:

What the hell is all the commotion about?

Misato:

They’re protesting.

Foreign powers aren’t the only ones critical of Nerv. Many civilians are upset by our standoffish relationship with the press and our refusal to answer questions regarding the Angels or the Evas.

Asuka:

That’s stupid, we’re doing everything we can to keep chumps like them safe and this is what we get in return?

They really should have more faith in us.

Shinji looked over at Asuka and his gaze was met with a fierce scowl.

Asuka:

Oh what, you got something to say?

Shinji:

N-no.

Asuka:

Good! 

Don’t think just cause you got first place in the sync test that you’re better than me!

Shinji:

I don’t!

Misato:

Lay off him Asuka.

Asuka:

Ha! The incredible Shinji having a woman fight his battles!

She turned to him and pointed like she was accusing him of something.

Asuka:

You’re supposed to be a man!

Start acting like one!

Shinji ignored her and turned back to the window giving it the most melancholy look it had ever seen.

________________________

Shinji couldn’t sleep that night.

Misato's and Asuka’s words kept bouncing around in his head.

“You are number one!”

“You’re supposed to be a man!”

He rolled over trying to think of something else but was unable.

It made him feel good when Misato praised him, but bad when Asuka called him a boy.

Which was stupid, he was a boy, wasn’t he?

He hopped off his bed and took the dress out from underneath his mattress.

He looked out into the hallway making sure the coast was clear before darting into the bathroom.

He put it on, this time he tried stepping into it which he quickly decided he would never do again.

Once the dress was on he performed a few tactical twirls.

His eyes became fixed to his reflection.

He secretly wished he would never have to take it off.

________________________

Shinji made breakfast for everyone the following morning.

He didn’t mind cooking, it made him feel like a mother.

For whatever reason, the thought comforted him.

Misato sat at the table and took a sip of the Miso soup he had made.

Misato:

Shinji, did you use a different stock for this?

Shinji:

Yes, it was a gift from Ms.Ritsuko.

He poured himself a bowl of soup and sat down at the table.

There was a small battery-powered radio in the kitchen that was playing a news station.

Shinji mostly ignored the news as he didn’t understand most of it but this time it said something that caught his attention.

Radio:

In other news right-leaning politicians in Tokyo-lll lobby for a discriminatory bill targeted at the rights of transgender individuals.

Shinji looked up from his soup and paused for a moment.

Shinji:

Miss Misato, what does transgender mean?

Misato:

Oh uh, it’s like when a man decides he wants to be a woman or vise versa.

Shinji's eyes lit up, he opened his mouth to ask more questions but before he could Asuka stormed out the bathroom door complaining about the water temperature.

By the time she finished complaining Shinji had already forgotten his questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case your wondering about the timeline for this fic, know the first chapter takes place after the episode Mind Matching Moment. Now you may have noticed that this chapter is the setup for the Lelilel fght and that would mean I'm skipping a couple of angels. I'm actually not skipping angels and more of just changing the order they appear in. I'll definitely skip some angels but probably not a lot.


	3. Shinji Becomes a Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asuka exposes Shinjis secret and just when it couldn't get any worse an Angel attacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for homophobia, transphobia, and nonsexual references to nudity

After breakfast, Shinji returned to his room. He pulled out his school laptop, went to google, and typed the word “transgender”.

He clicked the Wikipedia link and spent the next few moments reading it. 

In the span of five minutes, Shinji made the following searches.

“Am I transgender”

“How to know if I am transgender”

“What is it like to be transgender”

“Trans woman”

“Am I a trans woman”

“Am I trans”

“What is gender dysphoria”

“Do I have gender dysphoria”

“What is gender euphoria”

Gender euphoria (noun): 

A psychological condition that consists of comfort or even joy when thinking about/experiencing one's true Gender identity.

He remembered when he first met Asuka, the two of them fought an angel together in Unit-02.

She made him wear a female plugsuit and while he was certainly embarrassed he admitted to himself that he enjoyed wearing it.

Breasts.

Wider hips.

These are the things that Shinji Ikari appeared to have when wearing the female plugsuit.

These are things that tended to define others as women.

Because of that Shinji Ikari enjoyed it.

This is euphoria.

Gender dysphoria (noun):

The feeling of discomfort or distress that might occur in people whose gender identity differs from their sex assigned at birth.

The first night he spent at Miss Misato's apartment.

She had told him to go take a bath, that it was “The washing machine of life”.

But Shinji could only focus on bad things in the bath.

Things like his father, the fear of being cast away, but it was also other, more physical things.

Facial hair. 

Adam's apple.

Male genitals. 

These were things that belonged to Shinji Ikari.

These are things that defined Shinji Ikari as a man.

Because of that Shinji Ikari hated them.

This is dysphoria.

Still, despite the evidence it didn’t feel like enough to deliver a verdict.

Shinji( mumbling to himself ):

I need something final.

I need something definitive.

Asuka:

I need your bedsheets.

Shinji:

Huh?

He looked up to see Asuka holding a basket of laundry in the doorway.

Asuka:

Are you even listening, idiot Shinji?

The great tyrant Misato is making me put the bedsheets and towels in the wash.

Now go get yours for me, I don’t wanna touch it.

Shinji:

Ok, sorry.

He shut his laptop as he got up and began removing the sheets from his bed.

It was going fine until he got to the bottom right corner. 

The fitted sheet seemed to be pushed really far under the mattress.

Without thinking, Shinji pulled on it with all his might.

The dress clung to the sheet and came flying out from under the mattress.

Shinji watched in horror as it fell in slow motion and landed at Asuka's feet.

She stood still for a moment before dropping the basket to the ground.

Shinji:

A-a-ah-Asuka, I can ex-explain.

He tried to pick up the dress but before he could it was swiped by Asuka.

Shinji watched her take it from him and run into the kitchen.

Asuka:

MISATO! MISATO LOOK! 

Shinji rushed out of his bedroom and desperately chased Asuka.

By the time he had caught up with her, she was already showing the dress off to Misato who was still eating her miso soup.

Asuka:

Look what I found in that pervert's room!

He was hiding this under his mattress!

Misato:

Wait wha-

Shinji:

She’s a liar!

Muh- miss Misato, don’t listen to her!

Misato:

Now hol-

Asuka:

I knew Shinji was pathetic but even I didn’t think he was jerking it in a dress!

Misato:

Asuka! That’s n-

Shinji:

I-it’s not like that at all!

I just think it feels nice!

Shinji reaches over and grabs the dress, however Asuka holds her grip and the two engage in a tug of war.

Asuka:

YOU THINK IT FEELS NICE!?!   
Gross! Gross! Gross! Gross! GROSS!

YOU’RE FUCKING DISGUSTING!

She ripped the dress completely out of his hands and turned to Misato.

Asuka:

You have to burn this thing and get him into a hospital before he ends up chopping his dick off!

Misato:

ASUKA THAT’S ENOUGH!

APOLOGIZE TO SHINJI RIGHT NOW!

By now Shinji's face was completely red and tears were starting to well up in his eyes.

Asuka:

YOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE!?!   
If anything he should apologize fo-

Before Asuka could finish her sentence Shinji had slapped her across the face and taken the dress out of her hands.

Shinji:

I- I’m…

He tried to apologize but the words didn’t come.

So instead he performed his specialty, running away.

He ran down the hallway and into his room, slamming the door behind him.

He heard the muffled sounds of Misato and Asuka arguing.

Eventually, they settled down and he listened as Misato walked over to his bedroom door.

Misato:

Shinji...

I’m not mad or disappointed in you at all.

I just wanna talk.

Shinji:

…

Misato:   
I’m sorry about all the horrible things Asuka just said about you.

I can’t force you to talk to me, but this isn’t something you can run away from.

Shinji:

…

Misato:

Shinji I really need yo-

She's stopped before she could finish her sentence by the sound of her phone ringing.

She pulls it out and answers it.

Misato:

Hello? This really isn’t a good ti-

…

Understood.

She hangs it up and jumps to her feet.

Misato:

ASUKA!   
SHINJI!

We have to go right now!

It’s an angel!

________________________

A shadow fell over Tokyo-lll. The angel was slightly different from the others.

It was simple in design, a gigantic sphere with a zebra pattern covering what was presumed to be its body.

The three Eva units kept their distance and surrounded the angel from afar.

Misato:

We’ve been caught off guard here.

According to the Magi, this is a new type of angel and if that weren’t enough commander Ikari is currently in the south pole.

Approach the angel cautiously and try to lead it out of the city if you can.

Rei, I want you to lead while Unit-01 and 02 provide cover.

Asuka:

Misato, I think Shinji should sit this one out.

The battlefield is no place for a pansy.

Shinji:

I’m not a pansy…

Asuka:

Oh, are you gonna stand up for yourself?

Or are you gonna play with dolls while me and Rei do all the work?

Shinji:

I’m not a pansy!

I’ll lead instead, how’s that!?!

Misato:

Calm down kids.

Shinji:

You said it yourself Miss Misato.

“You are number one,”.

He gave her a thumbs up mimicking her.

Misato:

Yes but-

Shinji:

Fighting is a man's job.

Shinji turned off his feed and started his advance on the angel.

Rei:

Unit-00 providing cover.

Asuka:

Hm! Unit-02 providing cover.

Both of them shut off their feeds as well.

Misato:

Those kids just totally ignored me.

Ritsuko:

Shinji seems more confident at the very least.

Misato:

That’s not confidence.

That’s delusion.

________________________

Eva unit-01 moved quickly, advancing on the angel.

Shinji knew he had to kill the angel.

He had to kill it or everything Asuka said about him would be true.

Shinji:

Asuka, Ayanami, are you in position yet?

Rei:

Not yet.

Asuka:

We can’t cover that much ground that quickly, geez.

Shinji looked out from behind a building at the angel.

Asuka and Rei were still nowhere in sight.

He looked at the gun in the Evas hand, and then he made a decision.

He fired three consecutive shots at the angel.

However, when the bullets reached it the angel disappeared.

Before he had time to react the ground around him turned pitch black.

Makoto:

Blood pattern blue detected below Evangelion Unit-01!

Shinji attempted to run away but found that he was no longer on solid ground.

He was sinking into the angel at a rapid pace.

Shinji:

Wh-What is this?

He tries using his gun to shoot the abyss to no effect.

He thrashed uncontrollably as the angel consumed him.

Shinji:

What’s going on!?

ASUKA! AYANAMI!

I NEED BACK UP!

Misato:

Force eject entry plug!

Maya:

No use! It’s rejecting the signal!

Shinji:

MISS MISATO WHAT’S HAPPENING!?

MISATO!   
MISATO!

He kept crying out for help until he was completely engulfed by the angel.

Misato:

SHINJI!

ASUKA! REI! RESCUE EVANGELION UNIT-01, HURRY!

Asuka:

That idiot, sync rates don’t mean a damn thing out here.

Suddenly the ground beneath her turned pitch black as well but she was able to jump onto a building before falling in.

She climbed to the top and looked out at a sea of darkness.

She watched buildings and cars sink into the angel.

Misato:

Asuka, Rei…

Retreat immediately.

Asuka:

Hold on no-

She’s cut off by Rei.

Rei:

Wait!

Ikari is still in there…

Misato's entire body is shaking uncontrollably.

However, she maintains her composure and repeats herself.

Misato:

You are to retreat immediately, that is a direct order.


	4. Shinji Kills a Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji confronts her fears inside the angel while Ritsuko puts a plan to salvage Unit-01 into action

**Chapter 4: Shinji kills a man**

Misato and Ritsuko stood on top of a building overlooking the sea of inky blackness.

Eva units 00 and 02 stood nearby with their pilots also sitting on the roof.

It has been five hours since Eva unit-01 was absorbed into the angel.

Ritsuko:

We have 11 hours until Evangelion Unit-01 runs out of power.

Of course, that’s assuming Shinji was able to switch to life support mode.

Misato:

And what about the angel?

Have we figured out anything new about it?

Ritsuko:

Well, it’s certainly different than anything we’ve faced before.

It didn’t really do anything until it was attacked, it seems to have no interest in advancing on Nerv H.Q. and possesses an inverted A.T. field.

The Japanese military is currently carrying out their own plan to deal with the angel to no effect.

Misato:

Big surprise there.

Ritsuko:

Yes.

Right now we’re waiting on a full report from the Magi.

Misato:

So what can we do right now?

Ritsuko:

Absolutely nothing.

________________________

Shinji sat in the Eva, he looked at the timer on his plugsuit.

Eight hours until it would run out of power.

Shinji:

I never thought sleeping could be so tiring.

He looked out through the eyes of the Eva into the vast and empty whiteness which surrounded him.

Shinji:

Nothing gets through, radio, sonar, this void is just too big.

He leaned back in his chair and sighed.

Shinji:

Am I gonna die here?

If I die here how are they gonna remember me?

He curled up into a ball and suppressed an urge to cry.

Shinji:

I’m hungry.

________________________

Asuka:

What an idiot!

Just because he got a good score on a mock test he thinks he can take out an angel alone.

Rei, who had been looking passively until now, walked over and stood in front of Asuka.

A shadow was cast on her face and her expression could not be read.

Asuka:

What?

You don’t like it when I bad mouth Shinji?

You know he’s a filthy creep, right?

This morning I caught him hiding a dress under his mattress.

Rei:

Do you pilot your Eva to be praised by others?

Asuka:

No! I pilot it so I can praise myself!

Misato:

Be quiet you two, I’m trying to listen to Ritsuko.

Ritsuko stood in front of a whiteboard with complex equations and diagrams drawn on it.

Ritsuko:

Based on the report from the Magi we can assume that the angel's actual body is the shadow below the sphere as the inverted A.T. field originated from there.

It’s roughly 680 meters in diameter and three nanometers thick.

The interior is an imaginary number space known as the Dirac sea.

It may be connected to another universe.

Misato:

Then what is the sphere?

Ritsuko:

It vanishes and reappears in relation to the shadow body below.

In reality, that object is the real shadow.

Anyway given the nature of this enemy conventional ways of dealing with angels won’t be effective.

So I have come up with a plan to salvage Eva unit-01 with brute force.

Misato:

With brute force? 

Ritsuko:

Yes, we will drop our remaining supply of 992 N2 mines into its core area while our two other Evas disturb its A.T. field with theirs for one millisecond.

Misato:

Unit-01s frame can’t handle that kind of stress.

What about Shinji?

Ritsuko:

The top priority of this operation is salvaging Unit-01.

Misato:

Now just wait a second!

Ritsuko:

The life of the pilot is expendable.

Misato slapped Ritsuko across the face as hard as she could, knocking off her glasses.

Before she could react Misato reached over and grabbed her by her shirt.

Misato:

What the hell is you and Gendo's fixation on Unit-01?

What the hell are the Evas?

Ritsuko:

All the answers were in the files we gave you.

Misato:

Liar.

Ritsuko broke free from her grasp and picked up her glasses.

Ritsuko:

I am taking control of all aspects of this operation.

And need I remind you that it was your mistake that cost us Shinji.

She collected herself and stormed off leaving Misato alone to brood.

Misato:

The second impact, the Evas, Adam.

I’m in the dark about way too many things.

________________________

Shinji opened his eyes and he was no longer in the Eva.

He was on the subway, he looked out the window.

Tokyo-lll wasn’t there, all that surrounded the train was a hazy orange color.

As he was looking he saw something move out of the corner of his eye.

He jumped to his feet.

Shinji:

Hello?

Who’s there?

A voice called out through the train's intercom.

Intercom:

I am Shinji Ikari.

Shinji:

But that’s me!

Intercom:

I am Shinji Ikari, I am the pilot of Evangelion unit-01.

Shinji started walking throughout the train, hoping to find the front.

All the while the intercom kept talking.

Intercom:

I am the third child, I am the co-pilot of Rei Ayanami and Asuka Langley Soryu.

I am the daughter of Gendo Ikari.

Shinji:

NO!

I’m not! I’m his son!

Intercom:

I am the son of Gendo Ikari.

Shinji:

No, he has to want me for me to be his son.

He stops walking and crouches down in the middle of the train car.

Intercom:

I am the son of no one.

I am unwanted by my father.

Shinji:

I know.

Intercom:

My father does not love me.

Shinji:

I know!

Intercom:

My father hates me.

Shinji:

I KNOW HE DOES!

STOP TELLING ME ALL THESE AWFUL THINGS!   
I ALREADY KNOW!

Intercom:   
I am the daughter of Misato Katsuragi.

Shinji:

…

Intercom:

Misato Katsuragi wants me.

Shinji:

No, she doesn’t, she needs me to pilot the Eva so she acts like she wants me.

But she doesn’t, she hates me just like everyone else.

Misato:

You’re the only one who thinks everyone else hates you.

Shinji:

But it must be true!

Even I hate myself!

Intercom:

Who’s fault is that?

Shinji:

It’s my father's fault, the father who abandoned me.

Intercom:

It’s my own fault.

Asuka:

There you go again always assuming you’re always the one to blame.

Shinji:

But it’s true!

I can’t do anything right!

I can’t even be a boy like everyone wants me to be!

Misato:

What others want doesn’t matter!

You have to decide things for yourself!

Ritsuko:

He always does what he’s told.

It makes life easier for him.

Shinji:

Stop it!

I don’t want to hear these things!

Intercom:

What do you want?

Shinji:

I want everyone to want me.

I want to do what everyone says so they want me.

Intercom:

I want to be a girl.

I want to be wanted as a girl.

Shinji:

But they won’t want me as a girl!

I have to be a boy so they’ll want me!

If they want me then I’ll be able to love myself!

Intercom:

You’ll love yourself through self-deception?

Shinji:

I have no other choice!

Everybody does it!

Shinji stood up and covered his ears.

Shinji:

EVERYBODY LIES!

EVERYBODY HAS SECRETS!

EVERYBODY IS JUST PRETENDING SO THEY DON’T LOSE THEIR MINDS!

SO WHY IS IT A PROBLEM WHEN I DO IT!?!

________________________

Ritsuko:

…

Maya, alert the pilots of unit-00 and 02 that we’ll be performing the rescue operation in one hour instead of three like we initially planned.

Maya looked up from her computer.

Maya:

Why, this operation is very time-sensitive.

Changing one variable could mess it up.

Ritsuko:

I am aware of the risks.

However, if we move it up there's still a chance we can save Shinji.

________________________

Shinji was back in the Eva.

The heater and filters had both stopped working a while ago.

He was cold and the LCL surrounding and inside him smelled and tasted like blood.

He looked at the timer on his plugsuit once again.

0 hours 0 minutes 0 seconds left, he would die in a matter of minutes.

Shinji:

I’m sorry Miss Misato.

I couldn’t do it right.

He closed his eyes and waited to die.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He felt a warm object next to his face.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Shinji opened his eyes. He saw a woman with short brown hair like his wrapping her arms around him.

Shinji:

Mother?

________________________

Yui and Gendo Ikari stood together in front of a lake.

A lot of their time at university was spent here and now they had returned with their child.

Gendo:

This is one of the only important places to me that survived the second impact.

Shinji will never see any of those places.

Yui:

Shinji will never see a lot of things.

Shinji will never see it snow.

Shinji will never visit Tokyo.

Shinji will never see over 358,989 species of animals that went extinct in the second impact.

But the world has not lost meaning just because those things are gone.

Shinji will be able to find happiness wherever he goes.

I plan to support Shinji for as long as he needs it, I want him to find happiness in himself.

Gendo:

You help him too much and you’ll end up crippling him.

Besides, you can’t guarantee nothing will happen to you before Shinji is grown.

Yui:

Then I will plan for a way to help him after death.

A way to help humanity after death.

She looked away from the lake and crouched down to look at Shinji in the baby stroller.

Yui:

Are you going to be ok?

Shinji?

________________________

Eva units 00 and 02 stood in positions at opposite ends of the angel.

Shigeru:

Evas in position!

Makoto:

N2 mines are ready for release!

Ritsuko:

Very well, on the count of three, the operation will commence.

One…

Two…

And then the angel began to shake.

The white stripes on the sphere disappeared and it looked like there was something inside of it.

As above so below, the angel's actual body shook violently and broke apart like the ground in an earthquake.

Ritsuko:

What's happening?

We haven't even done anything yet!

Misato:

Could it be Eva unit-01?

Ritsuko:

That's impossible!

It's out of power!

As if to defy her the hand of Evangelion unit-01 shot out from the sphere and began ripping it apart from the inside.

The Eva stuck out its head and screamed.

Ritsuko:

What kind of monster did we copy?

Misato ( thinking to herself ):

I know damn well the Evas aren’t just carbon copies of the first angel.

Just what does Nerv intend to do with them after the angels are defeated. 

Asuka looked up in horror while Rei passively observed.

Asuka:

I’m piloting one of those…

Unit-01 gave the sphere one final tear causing it to burst.

The Eva fell to the ground as it began to rain blood from the sky.

The angel had been defeated.

________________________

Nurse:

I can’t speak for what happened to him mentally but physically his injuries weren’t that severe.

He should be up soon.

Misato:

Thank you.

Nurse:

You’re welcome, I’ll give you and your son some time alone now.

Misato:

Oh uh, actually he isn’t-

But the nurse had already left.

Misato sighed and looked at Shinji.

She placed her hand on his cheek and caressed it.

Misato:

Thanks to you my hair is gonna go fully grey before I turn 30.

Kaji:

There you are Misato.

She spins around and sees her Kaji Ryoji, her ex-boyfriend.

Misato:

Kaji!

What are you doing here?

Kaji:

I’m just here to check up on Shinji.

What are you doing here?

Misato:

I’m waiting for him to wake up.

He spent a whole 16 hours in an angel, I want him to see a familiar face when he wakes up.

Kaji:

God, you are such a MILF.

Misato tried to respond but before she could Kaji threw his arms around her and whispered into her ear.

Kaji:

Tone down your suspicion of Nerv Icarus.

Gendo can’t be trusted and he has Ritsuko under his thumb.

Be careful or you’ll be disposed of.

Misato:

What are yo-

Before she could finish Kaji kissed her on the lips.

He then jumped away and threw his hands in the air.

Kaji:

Ah, I can’t believe I just did that.

I better get out of here before you call H.R.

Tell Shinji I said hi when he wakes up.

Misato:

Kaji!

What do you know?

Shinji:

Misato?

Misato spun around and grasped his hand.

Misato:

Shinji!

Are you ok?

Shinji:

Miss Misato, I-I think…

Misato:

What is it?

Shinji:

I think I’m a girl.


	5. "I'm home" "welcome back"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji comes home from the hospital and Misato takes her and Asuka shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: transphobia

Misato stood in a dark room surrounded by 12 monoliths each representing a member of the group Seele.

#3:

Major Misato Katsuragi, you have refused direct interrogation of the pilot of Evangelion Unit-01.

The only actual participant in the incident. 

Misato:

Yes sir.

The pilot's emotional state is very unstable right now and I think it would be unwise.

#6:

Very well, then we will direct our questions to you.

In your opinion do you think the angel was trying to establish a connection with mankind in this incident?

Misato:

I did not get that impression from the pilot's report.

I believe that this was a freak accident.

#9:

Of course, that would be assuming the pilot's memories are reliable.

Misato:

There are no signs of external memory tampering.

#9:

The Eva’s AC recorder was not running.

You cannot be certain of that.

#12:

Could it be that the angels are now interested in tampering with the human psyche?

The heart?

The mind?

Misato:

Do angels even have a concept of hearts and minds?

Based on the pilot's report I don’t think the angel was trying to understand the pilot as much as it was just mimicking her thoughts and emotions.

#5:

This brings up a whole other series of questions.

The pilot of Unit-01 is male, yet after this encounter with the angel, he claims to be female.

How can you argue that the angel had no intention of tampering with the human mind?

Misato:

As the current caretaker of the Pilot, I can confirm that she was struggling with her identity and seemed to have an interest in the idea of transitioning to female.

#1:

Very well, do you think this incident is a sign of things to come?

Misato:

Based on our reports we can say that the angels do not act in a coordinated manner.

#10:

That is the end of our question, you are dismissed.

Misato:

Thank you, sir.

She leaves the room and the 12 members direct their attention to Gendo who sat in a dark corner of the room.

#6:

So what do you make of this Ikari?

Gendo:

That the angels are becoming more intelligent.

From here on out things will be more challenging.

#5:

And what do you make of your son's sudden wish to be a woman?

Do you agree with Major Katsuragi's assessment?

Gendo:

I am unable to say, I don’t know him well enough.

  
  


________________________

Shinji sat in the waiting room by herself.

Misato was supposed to come and pick her up any minute now.

She was scared.

Scared of going home and seeing Asuka again.

Scared that her friends would cut off all contact with her.

Scared that her father would come down and tell her how disappointed he was in her.

To distract herself from this she remembered the words Misato had said to her when she came out.

“I will support you”

If she could believe in those words everything would be ok.

Rei:

Ikari.

Shinji looked up and saw Rei standing next to her.

Shinji:

Ayanami…

What’s up?

Rei:

I heard you were being dismissed, I wanted to say goodbye before you left.

Shinji:

Oh uh… thank you.

Rei:

Your welcome.

She took a seat next to Shinji.

The two of them sat in silence for a while until Rei finally spoke up again.

Rei:

So you’re a girl now?

Shinji:

Ye-yeah!

I had been thinking about it for a while.

The incident with the angel kinda helped me make up my mind.

Rei:

Why do you want to be a girl?

Shinji:

Oh uh, because it makes me happier when I look like a girl.

Not just that, Miss Misato started referring to me as a girl and that also makes me happy.

I wanna feel like this for as long as I can.

Rei:

I see.

Rei got up and proceeded to leave the room.

Rei:

Good luck being a girl.

If Shinji had heard that from anyone else she would have thought they were being sarcastic, but knowing Rei she probably meant it.

Shinji waited a couple more minutes when Misato walked into the waiting room.

Misato:

Hey kiddo, you ready to go?

Shinji:

Yes ma'am.

________________________

The car ride home was pretty quiet.

Both Shinji and Misato were trying to mentally prepare themselves for the inevitable conversation with Asuka.

Misato reached over and gave Shinji a reassuring pat on the back.

Misato:

I know this went horribly last time but I’m sure if we sit down and have a civilized talk with Asuka she’ll understand and accept you.

Shinji looked at her and smiled.

Shinji:

You think so?

________________________

Asuka:

I don’t understand this at all and I don’t accept you!

Shinji sat on the couch wishing she could fall through the cushions and run away from the situation.

Misato:

Asuka, this isn’t up for debate.

Shinji is a girl now and you have to be respectful.

Asuka:

But it’s so weird!

How can you just decide that you wanna be a girl?

Shinji:

I-I don’t know.

It just feels right, it makes me happy.

Asuka:

That just doesn’t make any sense!

How can yo-

Misato:

Asuka!

Asuka:

UGH!

Fine!

She sat down aggressively.

Asuka:

Are you gonna keep your stupid boy name even if you’re a girl?

Shinji:

I’m thinking of a new one!

Misato:

You are?

Like what?

Shinji:

I don’t know.

Maybe something like Maya or Madoka.

Misato:

Someone sure likes M names.

Shinji:

Ye-yeah?

So what?

She leans her head back and blushes while Misato laughs at her.

Misato:

Oh, I’m sorry Shinji.

I should know better than to tease a young girl.

She cackled to herself while Asuka and Shinji looked at each other.

Misato:

Ok, well this didn’t go as bad as it could.

Shinji, Asuka, go get ready to leave.

We’re gonna go shopping for clothes.

Asuka:

Shopping?

Oh no! I am not gonna tag along while you and Shinji play dress up.

I can’t think of a worse way to spend my evening.

Misato:

Well, I was planning on buying you something too.

But if that’s how you feel then I won’t worry about it.

Asuka:

...

I mean, I guess a couple more outfits wouldn’t hurt.

Misato:

Great!

Asuka:

Where are we even shopping anyway?

Shinji:

I kinda had a place in mind.

It’s a-

________________________

Asuka:

Thrift shop.

Asuka looked up at the store that Shinji had discovered only a couple of days ago.

The disappointment on her face was immeasurable.

Shinji:

Do you not like thrift shops?

Asuka:

Of course I don’t like them.

If I wanted to wear other people's clothes I would have just stolen yours.

Shinji:

We can go somewhere else if you want.

Asuka:

No no, I can work with this.

Besides, I doubt Misato will take us anywhere expensive.

She leaned in close and whispered to Shinji.

Asuka:

If you haven’t noticed she’s dirt poor.

Misato:

I heard that Asuka!

Asuka:

Oh? And are you gonna correct me you broke bitch?

Misato:

Can it you feisty ginger.

Just because of that we’re not gonna start shopping until the next chapter!

Asuka:

What the fuck are you talking about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No art for this one, I'm feeling lazy.


	6. Being a girl is complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji buys some more clothes and gets ready for school

As promised the three of them walked into the thrift shop and began shopping.

As much as Shinji was excited to buy new clothes she had no idea what she was looking for.

She walked into the women's section.

She felt uncomfortable and out of place. The racks towered over her. The array of dresses, bras, and underwear intimidated her. These weren’t made with someone like her in mind. It would be wrong to buy these, it would be perverted, it would be-

Misato:

Have you decided on anything Shinji?

Shinji:

Um no, not really. 

I don’t really know what I’m looking for.

Misato:

Well if you’re having trouble you can try on some of these.

She reached into her basket and pulled out a stack of clothes she had picked out.

Misato:

I didn’t really know what kinda style you would like so there's a little bit of everything.

Do you know where the changing rooms are?

Shinji:

Yes ma'am.

She made her way to the back and entered the changing room.

She examined the clothes Misato had given her.

It was mostly skirts, women's t-shirts, and leggings.

She picked out an outfit she thought looked nice and struggled briefly as she put it on.

Misato:

Are you done yet?

I wanna see how you look!

Shinji:

Uh yeah, one second.

Misato:

You look great!

Shinji:

Thanks, but um.

I don’t really think it’s my style.

Misato:

Picky! Picky! Picky!

It looks great and you’re getting it.

Shinji sighed in defeat. Oh well, it was still a nice outfit.

Still, she wanted something that better suited her.

She went back into the changing room and shifted through the clothes.

After a while, she found a nice jeans skirt which would go nicely with the white shirt she already owned. 

She quickly changed out of her Misato cosplay and into her Shinji cosplay.

She walked out again.

Misato squinted her eyes and examined her.

Misato:

Hmmmmm.

Shinji:

What?

Do you not like it?

Misato:

You look…

Really cute!

She gave Shinji a thumbs up.

Misato:

But that shirt is a little baggy and doesn’t go super well with the skirt.

But color-wise it’s good.

Shinji:

Oh uh-huh.

Shinji had never thought this much about clothes and color coordination. 

Being a girl was complicated.

Asuka:

Woah! What are you wearing?

Shinji turned her head to see Asuka holding a stack of clothes.

Shinji:

Oh uh.

It’s something Misato picked out.

Well I mean she picked out the skirt the shirt is mine.

Asuka:

Oh wow, it looks so bad I was certain you picked it.

Shinji:

Thanks Asuka.

Asuka:

Anyway, I’ve gone through the trouble of getting a bunch of clothes for you to try on.

No need to thank me.

She handed the stack of clothes to Shinji. 

Shinji:

Oh!

Thanks, I didn’t th-

…

Wait a second.

Asuka these are boy clothes.

Asuka:

Yeah?

Girls wear boy clothes all the time.

Shinji:

Ok but I don’t look like a girl, which is why I’m buying girl clothes.

Asuka:

God! You are so whiny!

Fine! If you’re not gonna take them I will.

She snatched the clothes from Shinji and stuffed them into her basket.

Asuka:

Misato I’m ready to go.

________________________

  
  


Shinji sat on her bed looking at her ceiling. She was wearing the clothes she had gotten at the thrift shop. 

There was a knock at the door.

Misato:

Shinji?

I’m coming in.

She opened the door and walked over to her bed. She sat down.

Misato:

How are you feeling?

Shinji:

…

Nervous, I’m scared to go to school tomorrow.

Misato:

I know.

I already sent out a memo to your teachers and Nerv just like you asked.

Shinji:

…

Misato:

Shinji, this is still what you want right?

Shinji:

Of course, it is!

But… It’s hard. 

What if people don’t accept me?

What if Toji and Kensuke-

Misato:

That’s enough!

She gripped Shinji's face and stared her in the eye.

Misato:

How many times do you have to be told what others think doesn’t matter?

There are always going to be people that don’t accept you.

You have to keep moving forward and learn to love yourself as you are.

She leaned in and kissed Shinji on the forehead.

Misato:

Goodnight.

She got up and left the room leaving Shinji with her thoughts.

Meanwhile, Asuka gripped her pillow after listening to the whole conversation.

Asuka:

She fucking coddles Shinji like he’s a baby.

I hate it.

________________________

  
  


The next morning Shinji got up and began preparing breakfast and her and Asuka's lunches for the day. 

It was technically Misato's turn to do it but Shinji didn’t think she could stomach her cooking, especially today.

Misato walked out of her bedroom and noticed Shinji in the kitchen.

Misato:

Isn’t it my turn to make breakfast?

Shinji:

Huh? Is it?

No, I’m pretty sure it’s my turn.

Asuka lazily followed Misato into the kitchen.

Shinji:

Asuka!

It’s my turn to make breakfast right?

Asuka:

What are you talking about ab-

OH!

Yep, yes sir it is definitely your turn to make breakfast.

Misato:

Weird, could have sworn it was my turn.

Whatever.

Shinji, when you’re finished your new school uniform is in the bathroom.

Shinji:

Ok, thank you.

She looked down at the pot of water she was boiling.

She watched as the bubbles of air grew in size before realizing hot steam from the pot.

The boiling water almost seemed to be alive. 

Like a million screaming voices trying to tell her something.

Shinji:

Shit.


	7. Shinji takes a piss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji goes to school as a girl for the first time, then she takes the piss of a lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: transphobia

Toji:

YOU’RE A WHAT!?

Shinji:

I-I said I’m a girl.

Can you lower your voice, please?

Shinji sat at her desk with Toji and Kensuke standing over her.

The rest of the class had taken their seats but remained staring at Shinji.

Toji:

Is Asuka making you wear this?

Kensuke:

This isn’t like another weird pilot training thing, is it?

Shinji:

No! 

I chose to wear this. I promise.

Kensuke:

It’s probably because of that incident he had with the Angel.

I bet it fucked up his brain.

Shinji:

How do you even know about that?

But before Kensuke could answer the classroom door opened and the teacher followed by Hikari walked in.

Hikari:

All rise!

Bow!

Take your seats!

Shinji tensed up as the teacher began calling attendance. 

He was pretty old and most likely wasn’t that cool with having her being trans.

He went down the roll one by one until he got to Shinji.

Teacher:

Ikari.

Shinji:

Here.

Teacher:

Oh right, I have to talk with you about something.

Shinji gulped.

Here it goes, this old man was about to say something really weird to her in front of the whole class.

Teacher:

You’ve been out for a couple of days, be sure to catch up on your missing assignments. 

Shinji:

Oh, uhh yes sir!

He nodded and continued calling the role. 

Shinji let out a sigh of relief and put her head down.

She looked around the classroom when she lifted her head back up.

Her eyes met the gaze of Hikari who was staring her up and down.

She looked away and returned her attention to the teacher after Shinji noticed her.

Once the teacher finished taking the roll he passed out an assignment and went to his desk where he started taking a nap.

Shinji wrote her name down and got to work. 

However, before she could get that far into it she was interrupted by Hikari.

Hikari:

Ikari, can I have a word with you?

Shinji:

Oh um, yeah sure.

The two of them got up and walked into the hallway.

Hikari gave Shinji one more up and down look before speaking.

Hikari:

Ok, what’s up with all this?

She gestured towards Shinji's dress.

Shinji:

It’s my… new uniform.

Hikari:

That’s the girl's uniform though.

Shinji:

Yes, I’m a- you know- because of- didn’t you get a memo?

Hikari:

No, what memo?

Shinji:

Here, I have a physical copy.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a note.

She handed it to Hikari.

Note:

Dear the staff of both Nerv H.Q. and Tokyo-3 First Municipal Junior High School.

The student/pilot Shinji Ikari has made the decision to transition to female. As of 09/22/2015 Shinji will begin her social transition and will begin wearing both the female school uniform as well as a female plugsuit. She has also made it clear she wishes to be referred to by She/Her pronouns. As of now, she will still go by the name Shinji but this too is subject to change. Thank you for your cooperation.

-Katsuragi, Misato 

Hikari:

Oh, you’re trans!

My bad I thought this was a really weird prank.

Shinji:

Sorry, thank you for understanding.

Hikari:

Of course.

Has everyone else been treating you well?

Shinji:

Well, Toji and Kensuke have been pretty weird about it, but other than that no one's really mentioned it.

Hikari:

Have they?

I’ll see what I can do about that.

________________________

At lunch, Shinji opted not to sit with Toji and Kensuke.

After this morning she felt really weird around them.

She scanned the cafeteria in search of a place to sit.

In the back corner, Rei sat alone with an industrial-looking lunchbox.

Shinji made her approach.

Shinji:

Do you mind if I sit here?

Rei:

It doesn’t affect me, go ahead.

She sat down and opened up her bento box.

Shinji:

So uh, how are things?

Rei:

There are no issues.

…

Shinji:

…

Rei:

…

So how’s being a girl?

Shinji:

There are a couple of issues.

Then again, it’s nothing I didn’t expect.

Rei:

Look out.

Shinji:

What?

Suddenly she felt two different hands slap her on the back in a playful manner.

Toji:

Yo Shinji what’s the deal?

Kensuke:

Are you only hanging out with girls now?

Shinji:

No!

I-I just felt like you guys would be uncomfortable around me.

Toji:

…

Kensuke:

…

Shinji:

…

Rei:

…

Toji:

Look man, we didn’t… earlier when we… I’m-

Kensuke:

We’re sorry, is what Tojis trying to say.

Hikari had a talk with us and we’re sorry if we made you upset.

Shinji:

Thank you.

I really appreciate it.

Across the table, Rei finished her food and got up.

She left, leaving the idiot trio alone for now.

________________________

The final school bell rang and the students left for home.

Shinji and Rei had been assigned cleaning duty for their classroom and stayed behind.

They swept the floor, wiped the desks, and took out the trash. 

Shinji:

Ok, I think we’re done.

Rei:

Yes, see you tomorrow Ikari.

Shinji:

You too.

The two of them walked out of the classroom and down the hall.

Shinji suddenly stopped and looked over at the bathrooms.

Rei:

What is it?

Shinji:

I really need to pee but I’m not sure which one I’m supposed to use.

Rei:

Are you a boy or a girl?

Shinji:

I’m a girl but-

Rei:

Then use the girl's bathroom.

Shinji:

Yeah but-

Before she could finish Rei had grabbed her hand and took her into the bathroom.

Shinji:

Oh um…

What now?

Rei pointed to a stall.

Rei:

Pee.

Shinji:

Right!

She opened the stall door and proceeded to do her business. 

Rei stood outside of the stall waiting on her when an older student walked in.

Older Student:

Hey! You stuck doing cleaning duty too?

Rei:

Yes.

Older Student:

Are you waiting on someone?

Rei:

Yes.

Shinji opened the stall door and walked out.

The older student looked over at her and jumped back a little bit in surprise.

Older Student:

What th- EW!

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING WEIRDO!

She walked towards Shinji as if to hit her but before she could Shinji slipped and fell on her ass.

She looked up at the older student who had raised her foot.

Before she could stomp the shit out of Shinji, Rei stepped forward and pushed the older student to the ground.

She looked at Shinji.

Rei:

Run.

The two of them bolted out of the women's bathroom.

Rei had a headstart on Shinji but she was quickly passed by her.

Shinji kept running and didn’t stop until she got home.


	8. Politics and giant monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji and Ritsuko have an uncomfortable conversation before the city is attacked by another Angel

Chief of Police:

ATTENTION CITIZENS!

THIS PROTEST HAS BEEN DECLARED UNLAWFUL!

PLEASE CEASE YOUR ACTIVITY OR WE WILL USE FORCE!

The protesters did anything but.

They continued screaming and chanting. 

Tall Protester:

How many more angels are going to attack the city?

Young protester:

What the hell are those robots?

Male Protester:

Is it true that Nerv is using children to pilot those things?

They held up signs with pictures of the pilots on them.

Chief of Police:

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

The blockade of police cars started firing rubber bullets and tear gas into the crowd squashing the protest.

Gendo and Fuyutsuki watched the protest from afar in one of their above-ground offices.

Fuyutsuki:

These protests are only going to get worse.

Nerv might need to declassify some information to appease them.

Gendo:

There is no need.

By the time they become a problem the Human Instrumentality project will be underway.

________________________

Shinji, Rei and Asuka sat in their Evas.

Shinji found it easier to relax in a female plugsuit.

Still, despite the comfort she found in her new suit the events of yesterday kept replaying in her mind.

  
  


Ritsuko:

Shinji’s sync rate is down by 0.5%.

Misato:

Really?

I thought it would be up.

Ritsuko:

Yes, she definitely seems happier identifying as a girl.

However, she’s still psychologically recovering from her experience with the angel.

As well as the situation that happened yesterday.

Misato:

Yeah...

Do you really have to talk to her about it?

I’m sure it won’t happen again.

Ritsuko:

I’m obligated to.

Under normal circumstances it would be your job.

However, since you're Shinji's caretaker it would conflict with your ability to reprimand her.

I’ll go ahead and talk to Rei too while I’m at it.

Misato:

Just be gentle about it ok.

Ritsuko:

I won’t say anything that isn’t necessary. 

________________________

The three pilots got out of their Evas and changed back into their normal clothes.

Shinji changed alone in the men's room while Rei and Asuka were in the women's.

Asuka:

Who do you think got the highest score?

Rei:

…

Asuka:

Of course the answer is me.

Who else would it be?

Rei:

…

Suddenly an announcement was made over the intercom.

Intercom:

Would Ikari Shinji and Ayanami Rei please report to Dr. Akagi's office.

Asuka:

What’s that about?

Did you two get into some sort of trouble?

Rei:

...

________________________

The two of them walked into Ritsuko's office.

She sat behind her desk with a clipboard in hand.

Ritsuko:

Hello you two.

Have a seat, there's a couple of things we need to talk about.

Both Shinji and Rei did as they were told.

Rei maintained her usual expression while Shinji was poorly trying to hide her fear.

Ritsuko:

Yesterday afternoon you two got into a fight with another student in the bathroom.

Correct?

Shinji:

Y-yes ma’am.

Rei:

No ma'am.

Ritsuko:

Rei?

Rei:

I got into a fight with the student because they were trying to attack Ikari.

Ikari didn’t attack anyone.

Ritsuko:

I see.

Shinji, is this true.

Shinji:

I- Yes ma’am.

It is.

Ritsuko:

Ok, as per your school rules both students engaged in a fight shall receive the same punishment.

Rei, you and the girl you pushed will stay after school Friday for a two-hour detention.

Do you understand?

Rei:

Yes ma’am.

Ritsuko:

Very good, you are dismissed.

Rei got up and left the room, leaving Shinji alone with the terrifying blonde scientist.

Ritsuko:

Shinji, Misato informed me that you are currently identifying as female and beginning to socially transition.

I understand why you went into the women's bathroom.

However, due to concerns from the school's staff and students, you are not permitted to use that bathroom.

Shinji:

But you don’t expect me to go to the boy's bathroom, do you?

If I went in there I’ll get beat up for sure.

Ritsuko:

I don’t expect you to use the boy's bathroom at all, there’s a unisex bathroom in the nurse's office that’s free for you to use.

Do you understand?

Shinji looked down at her hands.

Shinji:

Yes ma’am.

Ritsuko:

You’re not in trouble, just don’t do it again.

As for here at Nerv, you are free to use the women's bathroom as you please but y ou are still to use the men's changing room.

Shinji:

Yes ma’am.

Ritsuko:

Good, you are free to go.

Shinji got up and left.

Shinji:

I’m not in trouble huh?

It sure does feel like it.

________________________

Misato walked into Ritsuko's office through the back door the moment Shinji left.

Misato:

How’d she take it?

Ritsuko:

I think I upset her a great deal, but it’s nothing she can’t tough out.

Misato:

Poor kid, I wish things weren’t like this.

Ritsuko:

Yes, It reminds me of our situation back in high school.

None of the girls wanted us in the same bathroom as them when they figured out we were dating.

Misato:

Ahhh! Shut up! Shut up!

I already got Kaji walking around reminding me of our weird relationship in college. 

Don’t you start reminding me about our even weirder high school relationship.

Ritsuko let out a professional sort of giggle and went to take a sip from her coffee.

However, without warning the entire building began to shake causing Ritsuko to spill her coffee all over her.

Misato:

What the!?

Ritsuko:

Is it an earthquake?

Misato:

I don’t think so, it feels more like a-

________________________

Maya:

Shockwave!

Makoto:

Blood pattern blue!

Angel detected in the Stratosphere at 40 Kilometers!

Descending fast!

Misato and Ritsuko ran out onto the bridge.

Misato:

Maya did you say shockwave?

Is it shooting at us?

Maya:

Yes ma’am!

The angel appears to be separating small parts of its body from it and firing them like bombs.

It seems like it’s heading for Nerv H.Q.

Shigeru:

Their destructive power is comparable to that of an N2 mine!

What are your orders?

Misato:

Where’s commander Ikari?

Makoto:

He flew out to Germany earlier this morning for a meeting with the U.N.

Misato:

Mother fucker where is that guy when you need him?

Whatever, have the pilots board their Evas.

How much time do we have until this thing hits us?

Makoto:

The Magi says about 15 minutes.

Misato:

Oh my fucking god.

  
  


________________________

About ten minutes later Shinji, Rei, and Asuka were back in their Evas.

Misato:

Ok so here’s the plan.

If this thing hits us it’s gonna explode and wipe out everything in a 25-kilometer radius.

I need you to catch it with your Evas and take it out.

Asuka:

What?

That’s your plan?

Misato:

Yes, it has our highest chances of success. 

Shinji:

What happens if we fail?

Misato:

Nerv will go poof, not only that but the citizens of tokyo-3 were given the order to evacuate only ten minutes ago.

It’s impossible for any of them to be out of harm's way.

If you fail all of them will die.

Shinji:

…

Holy shit.

Misato:

Yeah, it’s a pretty dire situation. 

But look on the bright side.

If we all make it out alive I’ll take you out to eat.

Asuka:

Deal!

Misato:

Good to hear, now get into positions.

  
  


________________________

The Evas stood at three different points on the outskirts of Tokyo-3.

Shinji looked up and watched as the gigantic angel fell.

Shinji:

If we fail… everybody dies.

Actually I’m pretty sure the Eva can take a city erasing explosion.

So it’s more like, if we fail we’re the only ones left alive.

…

That’s not much better.

Misato's voice chimed in through the Evas internal speaker.

Misato:

Ok on the count of three proceed to the point marked on your screens.

Once there activate your A.T. fields and take out the Angel.

1…

2..

3!

The Evas burst to life and began running across through the city. 

Buildings and houses were knocked to the wayside as the Evas traveling at supersonic speeds ran by.

Eva unit-01 was the first to reach the point.

Shinji:

A.T. field activate!

________________________

Makoto:

Major Katsuragi!

There’s something wrong with Eva Unit-01!

Misato:

What is it?

Makoto:

Its armor shows signs of tampering, it’s not securely attached to the Eva.

If that thing blows up in Shinji's face then she’s dead!

Misato:

What…

Her serious expression turned to one of fear and shock.

Maya:

What are you going to do?

Are you going to have Unit-01 retreat?

Misato:

…

No.

All three Evas are needed for this operation to be successful.

I’m not gonna put the life of one 14 year old over a thousand other lives.

The operation will proceed as planned.

________________________

Eva Unit-01 outstretched its arms and slammed its A.T. field against the angels.

The angel looked at Unit-01 with its giant squid-like eye.

The Eva held on as well as it could, but the weight of the angel was too much.

Shinji felt the Evas legs dig into the dirt.

However, before she collapsed Unit-00 and 02 arrived at the point.

The combined strength of the three Evas was more than enough to hold up the angel.

Unit-00 took out its prog knife and cut through the A.T. field.

Asuka readied her own prog knife.

Shinji became momentarily distracted as she stared into the angel's giant pupil.

Asuka:

Shinji!

Stop wasting time and tear it open!

Shinji:

Right!

Eva unit-01 tore through the A.T. field giving Asuka the chance to reach over and stab it in its core.

The angels A.T. field disappeared.

Its arms descended to the ground only causing minor property damage.

The angel had been defeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone corrects me I know that Misato and Ritsuko met at university but it works for the joke if I say they dated in high school


End file.
